Blessed to have two friends who care and love me enough to want me in the company of their support group, I have landed in their mini gathering after school on the fateful Thursday afternoon. This was an afternoon in the company of very kind and good people who shared not just faith and religion, but the same hope to give people the same support they feel and receive.
But I’d like to talk about things the gathering made me think about more than the religion that was infused into the gathering.
This session, we talked about hurt- about what hurts us, hurt us or may hurt us. And it was a discussion (very openly) about how we deal with this hurt. Someone once told me that as we grow up, we make friends and we invest in relationships, but the more we give, sometimes the harder we fall- at times, we get hurt. Each time someone or something hurts us, it’s as if we tie this knot in our hearts. It’s not exactly a knot of hatred or anger, but I’d say, one more of sadness and betrayal. The more years we get through in our lives, we tend to tie more, and more knots in our hearts. And if we don’t learn to untie these knots as we slowly move on, we grow up with an extremely extremely heavy heart.
I don’t want to grow up with a heavy heart.
But I’m still learning to untie these knots. To me, it’s a difficult thing to do because I experience (in this case, emotional) pain very deeply and I think it a lot- the more I think it, the longer it stays. And sometimes when I think of the most trivial of things that hurt me, especially when it hurt me unknowingly to the other person, I am angry that the hurt I experience feels so real, when the one who hurt is absolutely clueless. It leaves me puzzled and upset. I’m still learning to untie these knots. But to paint a silver lining just for a bit, in the recent years I’ve learned to stay away from those who have the slightest possibility of abusing the power they have to hurt me. I think that’s a start to figuring out these knots.