With the fist fights and battles, combats and massacres out of the way, I’d say we’ve been warriors in our own ways. For walking into the battlefield and for sticking till the end. Not like we had a choice but to stay in the exam venue, you may say; but to that I’d say the ‘fighting like warriors’ I’m referring to is not as much physical, as it was mental, here I’m talking about the mental fight. The attempting and reattempting of questions or the relentless application of every formula we’ve got prepared in ammunition.
The biggest killing field of all, metaphorically, I’d say was definitely the chemistry paper. A killer for (almost) all, I wouldn’t deny the disappointment I experienced in the moment of stop writing and put your pens down. But the way I’m coping with that is imagining this all to be a practice for the real fight in a years’ time, because it is. And the ammunition we failed to prepare (whether it was time management or chemistry formulas or the skill of flipping through the data booklet fast enough), are all things we’ve got time to stock up from now, for weeks.
So with this analogy, I bring closure to the small feeling of disappointment.
Today I had a conversation with Phionna, one of my exclassmates so close to heart, everytime we meet it’s as if we haven’t met in ages though we actually meet very occasionally, because we are so used to sharing everything, even the small feelings. Talking about our small feelings made me think about how we often delay or undermine the value of the small feelings that we experience, since in a day we go on a very subtle rollercoaster ride of small feelings that there are almost too many to tell.
We feel and we are emotional because that’s only human, and feelings are very irrational reactions that our body take in response to our circumstance, which is also only normal. So nothing should make you undermine your feelings, even the small ones that appear to be insignificant. We experience these feelings, after all, because for a moment that something that happened, it mattered and it affected us. And it’s perfectly alright to want to shared things that mattered to us, even for that moment. It counts.
I really treasure small feelings and last December, Project Cats in Hats (a CmPS Team) and I collaborated with Room to Read to run out a programme this May that encouraged primary school students to comfortably and confidently share emotions. Psst and we are looking for people to hand the project over to, you’ll have complete flexibility and control and it’s a perfect experience! (bit.ly/theCIHexperience) or (https://frizzyhairedmusings.wordpress.com/2014/01/28/emotions-do-count/) I’ll publish a post about it in the very near future!