Momentarily

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Tonight was spent at a Christmas party with a bunch that I’ve spent a good amount of time making memories filled with laughter, pain, tears, sweat, blood and more learning than anything else. At this point, I bask in our comfort from just spending time doing nonsense together and I am thankful to have them. 

I realise that I am subconsciously unwelcoming towards the idea of change, I like things constant and I assume things are constant. I enjoy having constant relationships, I like to imagine that my relationships last. I prefer to believe that people and friendships remain the same. But all that isn’t true, because more than anything, we are constantly changing.

I have slowly come to accept the reality of things and people changing, in split seconds or in sneaky gradual periods of time. It takes time to realise, a while for all the change to finally sink in- I think back and realise, ‘Wow, we didn’t use to be like this’.

Sometimes we shun what appears to have evolved- not just people and relationships, sometimes we feel uncomfortable with ourselves. But there is nothing wrong with things changing, and there’s nothing wrong with not accepting that change at first, and sometimes even reacting to it with anger or frustration. Because it takes time to realise that even with all that change, it is only with genuine care and love can we understand this new, seemingly changed person or relationship again, understand it, and then embrace it again wholeheartedly. 

I guess sometimes we momentarily forget that this changed person or thing or self, was something that once did beautiful things with us. And as we all continue to change in the way we laugh or the things we enjoy doing, the slang we’ve adopted or the new perspective we see things, I’ll use the happy memories that I’ve once shared with all these people to find the courage to embrace what has appeared to have changed and understand it all over again. 

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