‘If we succeed, it’s thanks to me; if we fail, blame the uncontrollable’
A mixture of anger and upset stumbles upon me when the success around me that I feel I have influenced are not attributed to me like ‘hey I contributed! thank me now!’ and it comes a lot from the littlest of things not because I really am facing some kind of injustice in the recognition given for an influence but because of the self-serving bias.
We often give ourselves more credit than we deserve in any success we witness because we see many things through our own lenses and we see all the things we do- our effort, our thought and our hardwork. Since we can’t feel or experience wholesale of that of others, we tend to underestimate the amount that they have put in for ourselves. So today while I continue trying to cope with magnifying the efforts of others and minimising mine, (not to degrade my own value) but to try to get a more accurate representation of what goes into the successes of those around me, I promise myself to transform this unhappiness into credit I give myself and congratulations to others around me.
As for failures, I tend to blame it on other things I couldn’t quite control like the weather or my pen running out of ink, my teacher teaching too slowly or there being too many birthdays in a month so I couldn’t control my expenditure. And to that, as much as I know it’s pretty messed up to blame everything on the uncontrollable I’m not quite sure what to say about that since I can’t quite help it. So I’ll let you know when I figure this one out.
And on a side note, this lazy afternoon I am spending in company of my siblings at my grandmother’s place spending some quiet quality time (yes, the physical company counts for something already) and a Happy Hari Raya Haji to all!