Trust

I trust you, I think these words have very deep, profound meaning that come with immense responsibility. And when I find people saying them directly or indirectly to me, I make a conscious effort not to betray this beautiful thing that makes love and peace possible yet is the most fragile.

Story time! Once upon a time, in primary school, I had an English teacher who really really liked me because I got all the answers to her questions right and I could read loudly and clearly and project my voice. I suppose I looked somewhat pleasant in my two plaits as a kid and I had no problem understanding the texts she gave us. She often gave me the instructions to ‘keep the class quiet while I’m out’ and I realise now that what she was really saying was ‘I trust you’. Another once upon a time, while I was working at a student care centre, it one day occurred to me that these kids who came through the doors every morning and walked out the same doors every night were their parents statement of ‘I trust you’ to all the teachers in the compound. It was an unspoken ‘I trust that you will teach my kid the right things’, ‘I trust that you will love him at least half of what I do’ and ‘I trust that you will make sure he/she is safe’.

We’re not always directly told that we’re given some form of trust but if we make a conscientious effort to spot it and cherish it, it could honestly mean to world the someone else- you see they’re paying a really huge price trusting you because there’s so much you could do to hurt them with that trust with a little action.

Sometimes I imagine if one day I could find someone whom I could trust with my secrets, with how I felt and who I was, what I liked and I could trust that they were interested while listening to me or that they meant whatever they said to me. And I could trust that they wouldn’t think me stupid or dumb or boring or lame to say whatever I say and I could speak however and about whatever I liked and make any decision I thought I should.

That would be great.

But it comes with the price of baring your soul to the person and possibly making yourself pretty vulnerable to him/her. I am fearful of that price but if countless placements of trust on people would finally find me the people I can truly trust (for time will tell), then it’s a price I’m willing to pay.

I guess that why I always choose to trust, however scary, and right now, I trust you.

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