To: Myself

Dear me,

Today I’d like to dedicate this blogpost to you because today I am reminded of a lesson that I’ve learned, and one that I hope I will never forget- and that is, to always always, forgive yourself.

The amount of pressure one can get at any point of time is overwhelming, because pressure comes from expectations and expectations come from many places- your parents, your family, your teachers, your peers and most of all, yourself. Sometimes, they come alone, but more often than not they’re interconnected and tend to love coming all at once. And I have come to see them do scary things- they force us beyond our will to do crazy things to meet that expectation because it matters so much to us that we don’t let these people (including ourselves) down. And many a time these crazy things are not worth it because they destroy that bit of us everytime we do them.

And I hope that this post will remain to remind you, that no matter what it is, if these expectations are not aligned with things you believe in- they do not matter.

We often think that the challenges we face in school or at home are caused by these people found in these places. But most often, I think that one villain in our life constantly hurling impossible obstacles in our way, is ourselves. We expect the most from ourselves and we ask of so much more from ourselves than anyone else asks of us. The thing is even when people offer to add on to these stressful expectations, we make that choice (as our own villain) and willingly welcome these expectations with both arms (whether we realise it or not), and work our butts off to meet them. Worst of all, we convince ourselves that expectations unmet would result in the loss of love.

Someone once taught me that no matter whether you meet the expectations of others who love you (your family and your friends) or not, they will love you all the same. They really will. And what you have to always remember is to love yourself even when you don’t meet the expectations of yourself.

In your entire life, no one’s going to know what you think, feel or want more than you. No one understands the amount of rest you need, the kind of encouragement you need to hear, the amount of assurance you’ve got to have to feel confident and carefree- no one but yourself. So if there’s anyone that you can take care of your best, it’s yourself.

When I say take care of yourself, I’m not just talking about feeding yourself when you’re hungry or taking a break when you’re tired. It’s so much more- it’s also encouraging yourself when something external discourages you (like a heartbreak or a conflict, or an insult, or a grade point average on a piece of paper), it’s reminding yourself that you’re important and you’re beautiful and not allowing these things on the outside to convince you you’re otherwise. Because with the potential and with the things you’re capable of (if you wrote a list of 10 things that you could do, I can promise you can’t find a person who can do everything in that combination of the 10 things that you wrote), you deserve everything that you work for. And you deserve to give yourself an unlimited number of chances over and over again.

Always forgive yourself for the results that you achieve (whether good or bad) and the things that you do every day. Forgive yourself for the mistakes that you think you’ve made because there’s no life without mistakes, and there are no real mistakes because every mistake contributes to who you are today. Learn to love who you are. It’s hard, but if anyone ever discourages you or tells you otherwise, I’d like for you to know that I love you through and through no matter what you are or what you become.

Love,

Me.

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2 thoughts on “To: Myself

  1. Hey,

    Very personal and thoughtful post there. This journey isn’t easy; to balance expectations whether they come from external sources or internally. I’ve went through the sane phase as you are going through – moments of deep reflection – and the answers really didn’t come easily. As much as I wanted myself to think in a certain manner, to actually believe and really act on it was something else altogether. So writing a post is a great way to remind yourself.

    Some people tend to focus too much on the little details, myself included. So yes, it does help when you look at the big picture, that nothing’s gonna change the love for your family and friends have for you. And talking to friends and having them remind you of that definitely helps.

    So I hope you will look back at this post a few years down the road and be able to say, “I’ve done it. I’m able to manage expectations, I make mistakes because I’m human, and I’m awesome.”

    Good luck. 🙂

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